Clever Alfred
by ratsister
Summary: Adaptation of a Grimm Brother's folk tale for Canada and America. Alfred just wants to tell Mathew how he feels, somehow things keep going wrong. France and England and their very different parenting styles play a part. Fluff, AU, Human names used.
1. Chapter 1: 'I'll do better tomorrow'

_I dedicate this to my sister, (Username: AbbyGreenEyes) who is such a Can/Ame girl (and yes, in that order) that she gets physically angry thinking about Canada and Cuba! Definitely check out her Can/Ame fic: Kryptonite, and BELIEVE me she's working on something really really awesome next, so you'll want to stay tuned. _

_This is just a wee bit of fun with silly America and long suffering Canada who usually forgives America's...um...unique lack of foresight. _

_This is my way of saying Spasiba sestra, for the gorgeous, gloriously beautiful Rus/Ame vids she made me inspired by my fics. I hope you all enjoy!_

_Based on (but greatly adapted from) a folktale from my collection of Grimm Bro's tales: Clever Hans_

_I don't own hetalia or anything, obviously (:_

Chapter 1: 'I'll do better tomorrow!'

…..

Once upon a time, long, long ago, there were two boys who lived on neighboring farms with their fathers. The one who lived to the south was named Alfred and he was strong, brave, generous, and thought he always knew just what to do in any situation. Mathew, who lived to the north was kind, intelligent, just a little shy, and above all, patient.

The two boys were fast friends right away and as they grew into their teen years each realized that they liked the other very, very much, much more than just friends. However, Neither knew the other felt this way, and neither knew how to express himself.

Their fathers were no help at all. .

Mathew simply wanted to disappear after finally confessing his feelings to his papa in hopes for advice.

"Hononon!" His father turned from the rose bush he had been watering. Taking his son by the shoulders and smiling knowingly, Francis looked out at the vast vineyard that was their livelihood. "Ah, Mon fils, I knew this day would come!" Mathew's face soon flushed so pink he had no hope of disappearing into the background, as his father proceeded to give him far more advice than the boy ever asked for.

As for Alfred, he soon found himself climbing silently from the window of his room where his father had immediately locked him away. The young boy rolled his blue eyes dramatically as he climbed the rope down the side of their home. He could still hear his father yelling and stomping down the stairs away from the room he believed to be inescapable.

"Blast it all, you daft boy! 'Never heard such a load of rubbish!"

Time passed. Mathew certainly wasn't going to try any of the things his papa had advised. Alfred was still at a loss for how to express his emotions as well, though after a time, his father had at least realized he couldn't keep the two apart and so begrudgingly accepted what was to be the way of things. Not much changed as a day turned to a week and a week to a month. Alfred went to visit Mathew everyday, each day he tried to say how he felt, but each day the usually brave and outspoken youth lost his tongue and couldn't tell Mathew just what he wanted from him.

And so it was that this occurred.

On a Monday, Alfred set out from home. His father looked up from his tea.

"And just where the bloody hell are you off too?"

Waving over his head as he left the door, Alfred called, "To Mattie's!"

His father grumbled into his cup of earl gray but said no more.

When Alfred arrived, he was a bundle of nerves and knocked loudly on the door.

It was Mathew who answered, "Hello Alfie." One boy smiled to the other who smiled back.

"Hey Mattie!" Alfred beamed. As he was so smitten, the blonde simply stood there looking to the other, who finally blushed, and looking anywhere but into the blue eyes so near the color of his own, Mathew asked, "Um, so have you brought me anything nice?"

Alfred had on occasion does this, although usually the gifts were strange things the other boy would like more himself. The last had been a kind of big greasy sandwich he claimed to have invented.

Mathew was still grinning at the memory of how proud the other boy had been that day when Alfred responded.

"Nope. But I want something from you..." _This was it,_ he thought. _I'm gonna say I want a kiss!_

But in the end, he just stood and said nothing.

"um.." Mathew wasn't sure what to do. He felt in his pockets. Nothing. He looked around the front porch...nothing. Just as he was wondering whatever could he give Alfred, Mattie felt the needle he had stuck in his sleeve after stitching up some old clothes. He gave the needle to Alfred, who was relived just to be given something as he had been trying in vain to spit out the words he had intended to say.

"Thanks Mattie!" Alfred was truly relieved, but embarrassed. He turned and put the needle in the back of the hay wagon he had rode in on.

"Um...Goodbye Al..." Matt waved from the door.

"Bye Mattie!" Alfred waved back from the saddle as he drove the wagon back home, thinking he would just have to do better tomorrow.

When he got home, his father asked how things had gone.

"Well, did you take him anything at least?" Arthur asked, half interested.

Alfred smiled, determined not to let on his intentions or that he had failed at them so miserably. "Nothin'. But I got something from him."

"Oh? And just what was that?" His father raised his prominent brows and put down the newspaper he had been reading.

"A NEEDLE!" The boy grinned from ear to ear.

"And where is this needle?" The green eyed man looked down at his son and sighed.

"Oh, I put it in the hay wagon..." Alfred thought for a moment. "Um...I guess I don't know where it is now...Somewhere in the hay..."

Brave. strong. helpful. Yes, Alfred was all these things, but he did not always think ahead or think things through all the way before acting. Arthur sighed again heavily.

"You daft boy. You should have put the bloody thing in your sleeve!"

"No problem," Alfred responded, already thinking about how to make sure he actually told Mathew he'd like a kiss in the morning. "I'll do that tomorrow!"

As soon as Tuesday dawned, Alfred hurried through his chores so he could go to Mathew's. Today he'd be sure to not lose his nerve!

And just where the bloody hell are you off too?" His father once again asked as Alfred readied to leave.

As usual, "To Mattie's!" was the response, Alfred didn't even look back as he waved behind him, rushing out the door.

As he did each day, his father grumbled into his cup of earl gray but said no more.

When Alfred arrived, he again found himself nervous and knocked loudly on the door.

Mathew smiled as he opened the door and stepped onto the porch, "Hello Alfie."

"Hey Mattie!" Alfred beamed. but being smitten as he was and lacking parental guidance in the ways of love, the blonde simply stood there looking to the other, who finally blushed, and once again looking anywhere but into the blue eyes so near the color of his own or the interesting cowlick sticking up from the other's hair which contrasted with his own curl, Mathew asked, "Um, so have you brought me anything nice today?"

"Nope. But I want something from you..." _This is it,_ Alfred thought. _Today I'm gonna say I want a kiss!_

But in the end, as he had done yesterday, he just stood and said nothing.

"um.." Mathew spoke quietly, "I do have something for you..." He pulled from his pocket a knife. The blade was silver and the hilt was carved from the horn of an elk. "I um, saw this at the market and remembered you like this sort of thing."

"Thanks Mattie!" Alfred was truly relieved that Mathew had again saved him from standing there with nothing to say, but embarrassed that again, he had failed to say what he so very much wanted to say. He took the knife and suddenly remembering what his father had told him, he put it in his sleeve.

"Maple!" Matt pointed to the other boy's sleeve as blood began to stain Alfred's sleeve bright red. "Um...Al..."

"Bye Mattie!" Alfred waved with the very arm he had just stabbed before hopping into the saddle to ride away. _Damn! _He thought, _I will just have to do better tomorrow! _

He rode all the way home thinking of how he would tell Mathew he wanted a kiss.

"Hey Mattie - Kiss me!" or maybe _he'd lean on the pillars of the porch all casual-like and say,_ "Yo, Matt, gimme some sugar!" _hmmm, that could work, or maybe he'd be a gentleman and swoop him up and say_ "I can't get you outta my mind, baby!"

These were Alfred's thoughts as he stabled his horse and walked through the front door. Thoughts of how to get his cute neighbor boy to give him a kiss, not thoughts of the amount of blood he had lost as he rode, having given absolutely no concern to his self inflicted wound.

When he got home, his father asked how things had gone.

"Well, did you take him anything at least?" Arthur asked, not even looking up from the book he was reading. 'Tales of Pirates Most Nefarious'

Alfred smiled, determined not to let on his intentions or that he had failed at them so miserably.

"Nope'. But I got something from him."

"Oh? And just what was that?" His father turned the page, still not looking up..

"A KNIFE!" The boy grinned from ear to ear.

"And did you throw it in the hay as well?" The green eyed man snickered as he read.

"No way. I did just what you said - stuck it in my sleeve." Alfred pulled the knife from his arm just as he father's bushy brows raised into his hairline and he dropped the book.

Brave. strong. helpful. Yes, Alfred was all these things, but he did not always think ahead or think things through all the way before acting. Arthur jumped from his chair.

"Cor Blimy! You're bleeding all over the carpet! How thick can you get?" After rushing to get a bandage, Arthur sighed. "You should have put it in your pocket."

"No problem," Alfred responded, already thinking about how to make sure he actually told Mathew he'd like a kiss in the morning. "I'll do that tomorrow!"

_End of Chapter 1. _

_My oh my, How long will it take Alfred to get that kiss? Whatever will he do the next day? _

_I hope this has been enjoyable to read! (Especially for you Greeneyes! Love ya sis!)_

_Again, people, for more awesome Can/Ame read Kryptonite: _http: / /www. fanfiction. Net /u/2159891/ AbbyGreenEyes_ (you know the deal, un space the spaces!)_

_And don't miss her youtube vids, there are at least 2 or 3 Can/Ame ones as well as some lovely Pru/Can, Rus/Ame, Pru/Hun, and much more! _http :/ /www. Youtube .com/ user/ AbbyGreenEyes


	2. Chapter 2: Now What?

_Thanks for all the love and reviews and such! Part 2 is here!_

Part 2: Now what?

It felt as though Wednesday couldn't come fast enough; the freshly bandaged Alfred rushed through his daily responsibilities so he could go to Mathew's. Today he'd really be sure to not lose his nerve!

"And just where the bloody hell are you off too?" His father once again asked as Alfred readied to leave.

Just as the day's before, "To Mattie's!" was the response; Alfred didn't even look back as he waved behind him, running through the door.

As he did each day, his father grumbled into his cup of earl gray but said not a word.

When Alfred arrived, he again found himself nervous and knocked loudly on the door.

Mathew smiled as he always did, no matter his neighbor's strange behaviour. He opened the door and stepped onto the porch. "Hello Alfie."

"Hey Mattie!" Alfred beamed. but of course, being smitten as he was and so sorely lacking in parental guidance in the ways of love, the blonde simply stood there looking to the other, who finally blushed, and once again looking anywhere but into the blue eyes so near the color of his own or the interesting cowlick sticking up from the other's hair which contrasted with his own curl, or the way the other boy shuffled his feet, Mathew asked, "Um, so have you brought me anything nice today?"

"Nope. But I want something from you..." _This is it,_ Alfred thought. _I'm really going to do it! Today I'm gonna say I want a kiss!_

But in the end, as he had done yesterday, he just stood and said nothing.

"um..." Mathew spoke quietly, "I..." Mathew really wasn't sure what to do or say, he looked around and didn't have anything to give Alfred. Just as Mathew was beginning to worry that the two of them would stand there forever, trapped in the awkward moment, the door opened behind him. "Psst. Mathieu..."

Mathew was hesitant to see what his papa was trying to give him as Francis repeated impatiently, "Mathieu."

Taking a deep breathe, and keeping his eyes on those anguished blue's across from him as Alfred was clearly engaged in some serious internal battle, Mathew reached back behind him and accepted the thing his father was trying to give him. _eh?_ he wondered, _a plate?_

_oh! _Mathew sighed relieved. "Alfred, would you like a crepe?" He held out the little pancake like thing with some kind of chocolaty filling. Mathew sniffed at it, "It's filled with nutella."

"Thanks Mattie!" Alfred was truly relieved that Mathew had once again saved him from standing there with nothing to say, but embarrassed and now getting pretty agitated at himself because he had again,failed to say what he so very much wanted to say. He took the crepe and suddenly remembering what his father had told him, he put it in his pocket.

Mathew tried not to laugh. "Alfred..," He started, thinking his neighbor had not always been quite so scatterbrained; he must really have something on his mind. As the other blonde hopped back in the saddle, Matt blushed as he thought to himself that whatever it was, it couldn't be as distracting as his own thoughts.

"Bye Mattie!" Alfred waved back as he began to ride away. _Damn! _He thought, _I will just have to do better tomorrow! _

He rode all the way home thinking of how he would tell Mathew he wanted a kiss.

"Hey Mattie - lay it on me!" _he'd say as he puckered up, or maybe he'd come up from behind him and whisper _"Hey baby, our lips are like magnets and I just can't resist the pull!" _hmmm, that might be a bit much, maybe he'd be a gentleman and swoop him up and say _"You were made for lovin' me baby, and I was made for lovin' you!"

These were Alfred's thoughts as he stabled his horse and walked through the front door. Thoughts of how to get his cute neighbor boy to give him a kiss, never realizing Mathew's gift was smooshed to a sugary-hazelnuty-chocolaty mess in his pocket.

When he got home, his father asked how things had gone as he always did, though by now Arthur was beginning to dread the answers.

"Well, did you take him anything at least?" Arthur asked, not even looking up from the book he was reading. 'How to have it all: the gentleman's guide to life''

Alfred smiled, determined not to let on his intentions or that he had failed at them so miserably.

"Nope'. But I got something from him."

"Oh? And just what was that?" His father turned the page, looking up right away to make sure his daft boy wasn't bleeding all over the place again.

"Um, a pancake with chocolate stuff inside!" The boy grinned from ear to ear.

"Well it's not all over your arm; did you already eat it?" The green eyed man was relieved Alfred hadn't been given another weapon...

"No way. I did just what you said - put it in my pocket!" Alfred patted the side of his trousers, only for his grin to fall at the realization that maybe he ought to have eaten it right there...

His father sighed and shook his head.

Brave. strong. helpful. Yes, Alfred was all these things, but he did not always think ahead or think things through all the way before acting. Arthur sighed again heavily.

"Oh, Alfred," Arthur said, getting back to his book, "You should have carried it home carefully and put it in the pantry if you weren't going to eat it there..."

"No problem," Alfred responded, already thinking about how to make sure he really, totally, actually told Mathew he'd like a kiss in the morning. "I'll do that tomorrow!"

…..

Before he knew it Thursday was there. As he had done each day that week, Alfred rushed through his daily responsibilities so he could go to Mathew's. Today he'd really be sure to not lose his nerve!

"And just where the bloody hell are you off too?" His father once again asked as Alfred readied to leave.

As Always, "To Mattie's!" was the response, Alfred was so determined today that he didn't even wave or close the door behind him.

"Bloody well raised him better..." Arthur grumbled as he closed the door and then returned to his tea with a scowl, but not another word.

When Alfred arrived, he again found himself nervous and knocked loudly on the door.

Mathew smiled as he always did, no matter his neighbor's strange behaviour. He opened the door and stepped onto the porch. "Hello Alfie."

"Hey Mattie!" Alfred beamed. but of course, being smitten as he was and so sorely lacking in parental guidance in the ways of love, the blonde simply stood there looking to the other, who finally blushed, and once again looking anywhere but into the blue eyes so near the color of his own or the interesting cowlick sticking up from the other's hair which contrasted with his own curl, or the way the other boy shuffled his feet, and bit at his lower lip, Mathew asked, "Um, so have you brought me anything nice today?"

"Nope. But I want something from you..." _Ok I can do this,_ Alfred thought. _I'm really going to do it! Today I'm gonna say I want a kiss!_

But in the end, as he had done yesterday and each day before, he just stood and said nothing.

However, this time Mathew was prepared. He had something to give Alfred and he just knew the other boy would appreciate it. While Matt and his father's farm was devoted to the production of wine, Alfred's was not only a farm but a ranch and when Mathew had accompanied his father to the market the day before, sullen from the awkward moments recently, Francis had come through in a rare way.

"Al," Mathew began, "I've got something for you you're really going to like!" Smiling, glad to see he had gotten Alfred's attention and drawn him out of whatever inner struggle he was losing, Matt led his neighbor around the side of the house to where a small calf was tethered.

As Alfred ran forward to pet the calf and squeal his delight, Mathew's blush deepened. Surely, the shy boy thought, this_ gift will show him how I feel without having to say a word._

"Thanks Mattie!" Alfred was truly relieved that Mathew had, as always, saved him from standing there with nothing to say, and given him such an awesome present! He was still however, embarrassed and now getting pretty agitated at himself for once again failing to get that kiss.  
>Alfred beamed at Mathew as he stood beside the calf. "I'm gonna name him Mathew after you!" He announced, as he remembered his father's advice and lifted the calf carefully in his arms.<p>

Mathew laughed right out loud, though he was as always, impressed by his friend's easy strength... "Alfred... She's a girl!"

The other blonde scratched his head, holding the calf in one arm. "Hm...really? Well..." He looked back up, blue eyes sparkling, "Mattilda it is then!"

Mathew watched as Alfred carefully handled the calf; climbing into the saddle and still holding the animal in one arm carefully as he held the reins with the other. Why he didn't simply lead the calf along beside him, Matt would never understand, but it didn't matter, the northern boy blushed deeply as the southern turned his horse round to face him.

"Bye Mattie!" Alfred grinned before he turned again and began to ride away with the confused calf half over his shoulder. _Damn! _He thought, _I wussed out again! I will just have to do better tomorrow! _

He rode all the way home thinking of how he would tell Mathew he wanted a kiss.

"Whoa Mattie, you take my breath away, I just might need mouth to mouth!" _he'd say as he leaned against the porch pillar, or maybe he'd come up from behind him and whisper _"Hey good lookin'." _and then just turn him around and plant on him. hmmm, that might be a bit much, maybe he'd be a gentleman and swoop him up and say _"Those lips of yours look good enough to taste! May I?"

These were Alfred's thoughts as he stabled his horse and walked through the front door. Thoughts of how to get his cute neighbor boy to give him a kiss, not giving a thought to anything but the image of his success playing itself out in his head. Alfred thought nothing of it as he carried the calf in the back door and through to the pantry.

"Hey you go Mattilda." Alfred smiled absentmindedly toward the calf as she sniffed at sacks of potatoes, bags of bread, and baskets of apples in the large farmhouse's pantry.

When he walked into the living room, his father asked how things had gone as he always did, though by now Arthur was beginning to dread the answers.

"Well, did you take him anything at least?" Arthur asked, not even looking up from the book he was reading. 'Magical Magnifying Glass: An Encyclopedia of Mystical Beasts and Field Guide to the Fay'

Alfred smiled, determined not to let on his intentions or that he had failed at them so miserably.

"Nope'. But I got something from him."

"Oh? And just what was that?" His father turned the page, knowing already afraid of the answer.

"A calf! I named her Mattilda!" Alfred grinned from ear to ear.

"Well that's really quite something! You'll remember your manners and write a thank you note, of course." The green eyed man was relieved, it seemed this time nothing had gone wrong. "Go on then, lets have a look, you took her to the stable?" Arthur stood, putting the book down.

"Of course not! I did just as you said, she's in the pantry." Alfred pointed over his shoulder just as a loud thud resounded as the calf had clearly knocked something down.

His father stared, for a moment shocked speechless.

The silence didn't last long.

"The PANTRY? I bloody well never told you such a load of rubbish, you gormless boy!" Arthur ran past him toward the sounds now emanating from the food stores as the little cow explored the space in which it had been placed.

Brave. strong. helpful. Yes, Alfred was all these things, but he did not always think ahead or think things through all the way before acting. Arthur sighed again heavily after he had freed the calf.

"Oh, Alfred," his father said, as he picked up a half eaten apple, "You should have taken her to the stable and given her some bleeding grass of course."

"No problem," Alfred responded, already thinking about how to make sure he really, totally, for sure, actually told Mathew he'd like a kiss in the morning. "I'll do that tomorrow!"

…...

When Friday dawned bright and cloudless, Alfred leapt from bed. He was determined to get that kiss and as soon as he was dressed, Al ran out the door, and rode along the well worn trail to his neighbor's. He hadn't even done any of his chores. The southern boy didn't even care. His father would get over it. Eventually.

When Alfred arrived, he again found himself, if anything, more nervous than ever before as he knocked loudly on the door.

Mathew smiled softly as he opened the door and stepped onto the porch. "Hello Alfie."

"Hey Mattie!" Alfred beamed. but no matter how he wanted to grab the other boy by the shoulders and bring him in close for the longed for kiss, one blonde simply stood there looking to the other, who finally blushed, and once again looking anywhere but into the blue eyes so near the color of his own or the interesting cowlick sticking up from the other's hair which contrasted with his own curl, or the way the other boy shuffled his feet, bit at his lip or mumbled something under his breathe. Mathew asked, "Um, so have you brought me anything nice today?"

"Nope. But I want something from you..." _Here I go,_ Alfred thought. _I'm really going to do it! Today I'm gonna say I want a kiss!_

But in the end, as he had done yesterday, he just stood and said nothing as he struggled inwardly to speak the words sitting on the tip of his tongue.

Meanwhile, as his neighbor had been engaged in whatever had been on his mind so much lately, Mathew decided to be brave.

"Al. I don't have anything for you today." Matt's blue bespectacled eyes met those of Alfred's as the latter looked up suddenly downtrodden, "Oh?"

Ignoring the heat coming over his face and neck, and hoping his papa wasn't watching, Mathew stepped closer, down the steps of the porch toward Alfred.

"No, but you can take _me_ with you."

….

_One more segment to go! Oh my oh my, what will Alfred do next? (that clever boy)_

_Reviews lovingly appreciated!_


	3. Chapter 3: That Clever Boy

_A/N: I am so sorry for the wait! Things have been crazy busy with presentations, conference, moving my sis, work, and then driving out of state to see family and then a funeral...its been a wee bit hectic - Thank you all so much for your patience! I hope this last installment makes up for the wait!_

_...  
><em>

Ch 3 and Final Chapter: That Clever Boy.

...

"_No, but you can take me with you."_

The words echoed inside Alfred's head as Mathew looked across at him, a blush creeping over the northern boy's complexion. Matt's words were the only thing in his southern neighbor's mind, they replayed over and over; replacing anything else that had been there before.

"I-I'd like that Mattie!" Alfred beamed, though he could feel the blush stealing over his cheeks, making the heat rise on the back of his neck.

In an absentminded attempt at chivalry, Alfred took Mathew's hand and with glazed eyes he led him to his steed, and both boys climbed into the saddle, Mathew in front of Alfred. The southern boy held the northern around his waist as he gripped the reigns.

Alfred rode in silence, his mind trying to get his tongue to form the words he needed to speak. Vainly, he opened his mouth so close to Mathew's ear to speak the question; his lips opened and then closed, unable to ask for the kiss and unaware the other boy was wanting the same.

In a trance Alfred rode along the winding trail between the two farms, in a daze, he was dumbfounded by the inability to get his words to come, when all he had to do was lean down and whisper into his neighbor's ear: _Hey, Mattie, kiss me._ Why wouldn't the words come? Alfred wasn't one to be bashful, shy or careful by any means…

The two boys rode closer to the large white farmhouse Alfred shared with his father; the thoughts were clouding the southern boy's mind as he continued his inner struggle in silence. Mathew felt the other boy's arms around him tighten occasionally, could feel Alfred almost leaning in over his shoulder, and as the shyer of the two felt his blood rise in his cheeks, Mathew wondered when Alfred would finally speak what he had clearly been trying to spit out for a week.

They drew closer to the large white farmhouse,

Through the gate,

Along the road as it wound around an orchard and toward the stables.

Mathew wondered at his neighbor's odd behaviour. Alfred had gone a bit lax with the reigns and his mount seemed to be wandering home on its own.

When Alfred hopped down from the saddle and without hesitation reached a hand to aid the northern boy as well, Mathew noticed the other blonde was biting his lip; Alfred's blue eyes were glazed in deep thought.

"Al?" One blonde teen looked to the other, perplexed. "What is it, eh?"

_Alright Alfred…damnit, this is it. _Alfred steeled his thoughts and willed his voice to work for him.

"I...I." He started again, "Mattie, I'd like-, well, ya know, I mean….Can I have a-?" The southern boy, so smitten as he was and so sorely lacking in parental guidance in the ways of love, the blonde simply stood there looking to the other, who blushed further, and once again looking anywhere but into the blue eyes so near the color of his own or the interesting cowlick sticking up from the other's hair which contrasted with his own curl, or the way the other boy shuffled his feet, and bit at his lower lip, Mathew prompted Alfred, hopeful that the other boy was going to ask him the words he wanted to ask himself. "Can you have a what, Alfie?"

"Uh..Um" Alfred squirmed, suddenly his heart pounded in his chest, the wind blew past the two boys so alone in the pastures beside the stable. The tall grass swayed in the same breeze that ruffled the northern boy's hair, sending the stray curl across his face as the southern neighbor found himself not only at a loss for words but for coherent thought.

He acted on instinct, on the only thing that popped into his fuzzied mind, filled as it was with the image of Mathew brushing the curl from his face, the sound of the grass swishing through the wind, and the feeling of his own heart beat. The only thing that cut through all that: his father's advice.

Of course, Alfred had not paid attention fully to his father, he never had, he had not connected the advice he had been given each day with the reasoning behind it.

Alfred took Mathew's hand and pulled him toward the wide open door of the stables.

Without thinking, he led the confused object of his affection into the stable.

Mumbling hurriedly under his breath, Alfred took a handful of the tall grasses that bent in the growing breeze and yanking them from the ground, he threw the handful, roots to tips, at Mathew.

"Uh- right back, Mattie – um, yeah, here!"

As the northern boy spluttered and brushed the dirt and stray bits of grass from his clothes, the southern turned and ran from the stables toward home without another word.

Mathew stood in shock for a moment. Had Alfred just thrown grass at him and run away? Wide blue-violet eyes blinked as he looked around at the stable. He had.

"What the hell, eh?" He was angry and what was more, hurt. To think he'd thought Alfred felt something for him! Mathew scolded himself for being so wrong.

Throwing the doors wide open with a bang, he fought the hot tears that suddenly threatened and quickly took off on foot toward his home.

As Mathew ran past the front gates of the farmhouse, Alfred was just entering his father's study.

When he walked into the room, his father asked how things had gone as he always did, though by now Arthur was definitely dreading the answers.

"Well, did you take him anything this time at least?" Arthur asked, not even looking up from the book he was reading. 'Best Laid Plans: The Rise and Fall of the Greatest Empires.'

Alfred tried to smile, though he was shaking with nerves; he had no idea what to do with Matt after putting him in the stable. Determined not to let on his intentions or that he had failed at them so miserably, he grinned wide and tremulous.

"Nope'. But, uh, he came with me."

"Oh? And just where is the boy then?" His father turned the page, closing green eyes, afraid of the answer.

"The stable!" Alfred declared as he gripped his hands together, his uneasy grin fading fast, "Um, what do I do now?"

Arthur stood, snapping the book shut. "What? You daft, hopeless boy!"

"Er…you said…" Alfred twisted his fingers, hopeful for some kind of advice as to what his next step ought to be.

His father stared, for a moment shocked speechless.

The silence didn't last long.

"The STABLE? I bloody well never told you such a load of rubbish, you fool boy!" Arthur shook his head. You always do the right thing with the wrong gift! The needle goes in the sleeve so you don't lose it, the knife goes in your pocket so you have it handy, food goes in the pantry to keep, cattle, CATTLE goes in the stables, damnit boy!" Arthur went on, wondering how he had failed his son so thoroughly, "If you're really going to woo the boy, you don't put him in the stables, you give him nice things – you say nice words, flowers, cook him a meal, make eyes at him, I don't know," Arthur went on as a look of slowly, dawning comprehension crossed his son's face.

"But you do not, I repeat, do not put him in the stables!"

Horrified, Alfred suddenly understood what he had been doing wrong all week. His stomach tied itself in knots as he ran from the room, his father's words continuing, "You put him in the stable…Cor Blimy Alfred!"

Brave. Strong. Helpful. Yes, Alfred was all these things, but he did not always think ahead or think things through all the way before acting. Arthur sighed heavily as he strode to the window and watched his impulsive boy running toward the stables.

"Oh, Alfred," his father said, as he watched from the window. "I suppose it's my fault; I never taught you romance…too bloody young anyway," He sighed again as he saw his son ride out of the stable alone and make for the neighbor's estate "…but I did teach you manners."

In no time at all, Alfred, on horseback had caught up to his neighbor on foot.

"Mattie, I'm so sorry," He leaned down in the saddle, keeping pace with the other boy's steps.

Silence.

Alfred continued to apologize, "I've been so stupid Mattie, I know, I'm so sorry! C'mon, lemme explain?"

Silence.

The southern boy began to speak again, and finally his northern neighbor broke the silent treatment.

"Alfred, I don't want to hear it, I thought you…well, nevermind that anyway, just go back home. I don't want to talk to you."

Alfred was nothing if not persistent. "I'm not going anywhere Mathew; not until I-" But he couldn't finish the sentence. Instead Alfred returned to apologizing profusely and asking the other boy for forgiveness; there was no way he'd ever get a kiss without that first.

Mathew was true to his word and didn't speak to Alfred the entire way home, and when the northern boy returned to the many acred vineyard he shared with his father, Matt sped up and ran ahead of Alfred, slamming the door behind him.

Despairing, Alfred swung his leg over the side and slid from the saddle. He paced in front of Mathew's porch; he sat on the steps, and finally, after waiting hours and hours, he leaned against one of the porch columns and fell asleep as the sun began to dip below the horizon.

Inside, Francis had finally gotten his distraught son to confide in him.

As Mathew wiped the tears from his eyes, still angry and confused by Alfred's behaviour, his father stood from where he had been sitting beside his son. "Matthieu, you deserve so much better zhan zhat; I'm sorry mon fils, I thought he was ze one." Francis' sniffed and looked to the south, "I will be having a talk with 'es father for sure!"

"No, Papa, please don't do that!" Mathew was embarrassed enough as it was, and he hadn't even told his father how Alfred had followed him home…he wasn't sure if he was still outside where he had left him.

However, Mathew's father was far more involved in his son's would be love life than Alfred's father ever felt was healthy. Francis would not be deterred, especially were he to feel his Mathew had been wronged.

As the northern boy covered his head in his hands and tried to pretend the day had not happened at all and that he could simply disappear, his papa had strode to the phone on the side table in the hall and was dialing the next door farm.

"Ello?" The man on the other end answered wearily.

"Allo, I believe we have somezhing to talk about. Your son 'as behaved like a complete buffoon and 'e 'as broken my sweet Matthieu's 'eart!"

Blue-violet eyes went wide as the northern boy looked up from his attempt at dissolving into the wall behind him. "Papa~!"

His father merely waved him off and continued. As the conversation between to the two very different fathers progressed to become more and more heated, Mathew found he was only further embarrassed.

When at last Alfred's father's voice was heard clearly through the other end, "'How dare you insinuate I raised my son without manners? What would you know about manners you bloody French git!"

Mathew's father retorted into the phone, "I certainly know a good deal more than you, you uncouth, foul mouthed Ros'beef!"

Francis held the phone away from his ear as Mathew buried his head once again and Arthur spluttered angrily into the phone.

"Speak English when you're talking to me! I don't know what the bloody hell that means, but I know it's no bleeding compliment! If things have gone so pear shaped with the boys, just send Alfred home and be done with it!"

"Hononon!" Mathew's father laughed into the phone, "Clearly I am ze superior parent – you do not even know where your son is! He is not 'ere of course you imbecile!" Francis smiled, obviously proud of his better parenting skills, "But of course, I can not blame ze boy, when his papa does not teach him in ze ways of amour, does not even pay attention to where 'e is!"

By the time the two fathers were finished insulting eachother, Arthur had dared Francis to come and face him in person, though he was privately worried over his son's absence, and Francis had readily taken the challenge.

Promising to be home as soon as he had had a few choice words with their neighbor, Francis kissed his son on the forehead, the only part of Mathew's face that was exposed and strode briskly through the front door.

However, he stopped short at the sight of Alfred leaning on the pillar, slumped to his side asleep. The southern boy's horse was grazing on some tufts of grass in the front yard.

The fire went out of Mathew's father as he looked over the sleeping boy who had clearly been there all day.

Francis woke Alfred gently and as the younger blonde adjusted his hat which had gone quiet cockeyed and blinked in the light of the porch, Mathew's father sat down with him on the steps and in no time at all, had coaxed the truth of what had happened, and how Alfred felt about Mathew from the anxious neighbor boy.

Alfred looked to Francis with wide blue eyes, "I don't know how to make it up to Mattie now," He wailed in despair, "He'll hate me forever!"

"Oh non, non, mon cher – 'ere is what you need to do," Francis looped an arm around Alfred's shoulders, deciding it really was not the boy's fault he was so poorly prepared for the world, but his father's, and while he was clearly not the brightest, he was creative, sincere, brave, and sweet. He would do for his Mathew, but only if he followed the advice Francis was now giving him.

After much whispering and assurances Mathew's father stood from the porch and winked conspiratorially at the wide eyed teen, now prepared to win back his would be sweetheart's affection and, now also so much more prepared to know what to do once he had.

Oui, he was clearly the superior father. Francis smirked to himself as he re entered his home intent upon calling Alfred's father back to inform him of his son's whereabouts and gloat over his handling of such a delicate situation.

Alfred was still reeling from the new knowledge he had gained, some helpful and wanted, some… a bit frightening, though perhaps, intriguing.

He set off right away, back in the saddle and into the forest that ran around the vineyard.

By the time the sun had fully set and the delicious scents of the evening meal being prepared by Mathew's father were wafting on the breeze, Alfred rode back to his neighbor's home and went directly to Mathew's window.

Alfred had done the best he could without returning home, he knew he'd get an earful from his father and that could wait until the next day. For now, he had washed up in a spring, had found and picked wildflowers, gathered up some sweet mulberries, and had attempted to make himself smell a bit better by using the nectar of honeysuckle on his skin. It wasn't exactly the change of clothes, bouquet of roses, chocolates, and spritz of cologne Mathew's father had suggested, but it was the best he could do.

Anxiously, Alfred called up to Mathew.

Quietly at first, then louder. Louder still.

He picked up a pebble and threw it against the glass pane of the window.

When there was still no response from the boy inside, Alfred hopped down from the saddle and with the berries in one hand, the bouquet of wildflowers in between his teeth, the southern neighbor climbed the wall outside the window until he was nose to nose with the glass.

Alfred tapped the window pane with his forehead.

Mathew turned with what appeared to be one of many previous sighs, but upon seeing Alfred, hanging on to the window sill with one hand, flowers held in his mouth, the other boy's eyes went wide and he ran to open the window.

Once inside, Alfred wasted no time. He opened his now purple stained hand, offering the mulberries to Mathew in a garbled apology as he took the flowers from between his teeth with the other hand.

Mathew took the offered berries with a small smile and flushed cheeks, and when he turned around from placing them on a side table, the northern neighbor was greeted with a fistful of wildflowers and a sincere, if circuitous apology.

"Here Mattie, I picked these for you; I'm so sorry about earlier with the grass and the stable and everything," Alfred continued in one long run on sentence, "I just, Its that, well I, you know, and um…Mattie, I've been trying to tell you something for a while, and I just, uh, I didn't know how, and I just got all confused and I couldn't think, and what with Matilda in the pantry and Dad said stables next time, and I just…" Alfred removed his hat and ran his hand through his hair, unaware that Mathew had moved closer, he continued, "I've been wanting to say, to ask, uh, you know, I really like you, and wondered if you might, maybe….uh, Its just that I really, really like you and Mattie could I, um -"

But as Alfred was attempting once more to ask for a kiss from his cute neighbor boy, Mathew moved closer and understanding perhaps not the broken sentences, but the meaning and sincerity behind them, he took a chance and taking the suede hat from the other blonde's hands and lacing their fingers together, he leaned in and silenced Alfred's words with his lips.

Stunned at first, the southern boy didn't know what to do, but as he realized exactly what had happened when Mathew pulled back, watching for a reaction, he got one. Alfred yipped loudly and happily as he wrapped both arms around the other boy's waist, pulling him in close for a second kiss as Mathew responded warmly, his hands finding their homes around his neighbor's back.

The two kissed again and again, as Mathew's father smiled at his handiwork from below in the kitchen. The doorbell rang as Francis readied four plates. There would be much to talk about tonight.

But for the boys upstairs, even Alfred's mind was far from food, so relieved was he to finally know how Mathew felt, to have been able to express how he felt as well. So thrilled were both to have the other finally in their arms, to taste the other's lips at last.

To think he might have ruined his chance, Alfred swore as his tongue passed Mathew's lips, that he'd never ever leave him in a stable or try to feed him grass again.

_And that my dear readers, is the tale of how Clever Alfred nearly lost his true love, and how he won him back._

_It goes without saying that the two lived happily ever after, though not without the occasional misunderstanding of course. The two farms eventually joined and were successful beyond measure. Mathew and Alfred's fathers retired to let their son's run things after a time, though they argued till the end of their days, one could always find them enjoying tea and croissants together early in the afternoon._

_~the end!~_

_p.s. the original tale ends with Clever 'Hans' losing his bride Gretel; I wanted our boys to have a happier ending, and with France as matchmaker, how could it go wrong? XD  
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_Thank you for reading, I hope it was enjoyable! Again, if you want some more great Can/Ame check out AbbyGreenEyes – she's in my fave authors section!_

_Review are soooo welcome ~ Thank you to all who already have and all who will! _

_I'm now off to Rus/Ame Ger/Ita land, but it has been a very fun foray into Can/Ame world. Who knows, I may return one day!_


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